Hello New Life!

In one week my whole life has changed. This was the week I got my propaedeutics, I visited a room and I actually got chosen for the room! I’M MOVING OUT, PEOPLE! I’m going to live in Rotterdam from now on! This Thursday I’m going to sign the rental contract and since that moment I’m not living with my parents anymore, but I’ll be on my own. I’ve imagined this moment for so many times and now that it’s actually happening I can’t really believe it. It’s all going so fast!
But I’m happy, I really am, because these events have showed me just how lovely my friends are and how lovely it is to share happiness with others, how amazing it is to feel yourself shine and see that it’s affecting others too. AND I’M EXCITED! Me, a 19-year old short girl who has lived with her parents her whole life, who was never allowed to go on sleepovers, is actually finally moving out. Even before her older brothers are, even before she’s married or has a boyfriend; these are the scenarios I’d only dreamed of and now it’s actually happening. I still can’t believe it. Even when writing this post my mind feels like ‘durrrr’ and I have weird look on my face that says ‘To smile, or not to smile? To be confused or not to be confused? Is this realityyyyy??’, I bet you can imagine it’s not my prettiest look. (Or you can’t, since I’ve never posted a picture of myself on here before! Ha! Gotcha!)

Let me end this wacko, perhaps confusing and chaotic, but uttermost happy post with some Queen!
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? –  You tell me!

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How to: SOGging

Lazy Konata in Lucky Star. (Source unknown)

‘SOGging’, this word may seem weird to my non-Dutch readers, but it’s o so familiar to almost all of the Dutch students, as it is a Dutch abbreviation which many students will find themselves guilty of.
SOG = Studie Ontwijkend Gedrag, meaning ‘Study Evasive Behavior’. Put ‘-ing’ behind it, make it a verb and there you have it: ‘SOGging’. As the name implies, SOG is about everything a student does, who is supposed to be studying, that has NOTHING to do with studying itself.
Everyone has his own way of SOGging and here you can read my ways of procrastinating what I should do and do all the things I shouldn’t do.
I’m such a stupid girl sometimes.

  • Facebook. Remember this: Facebook is enemy. At least when studying. It isn’t even that interesting, but still I keep checking it every few minutes or so. What am I, crazy? My first step towards doing what I should do is probably just closing my Facebook tab, which I sometimes do, but then I just open it again whenever I’m looking for distraction.
  • Food. It’s so easy to spend time on making and eating food when I study at home. Sometimes I suddenly have the desire of eating something delicious that of course costs more time to make than when I’d just have a simple sandwich or snack. Also, walking up and down the stairs to check if the fridge magically has been filled with new food, isn’t exactly useful or timesaving either.
  • Cleaning. My room has never been more neat.
  • Looking around. Even my wall is interesting when I have to study. It’s painted in my favorite colour, lilac! How could I resist admiring it??
  • Dressing up. Nails are polished with a classy gold nail polish, I’ve discovered two new hairstyles, threaded my eyebrows, created some new outfits with old clothes… What? That stuff has to happen too!
  • Dancing around on birthday songs. Whose birthday exactly?
  • Korean Drama. Opening the tab of my favorites to see if another drama episode has been uploaded, come to the conclusion that it hasn’t and then preach to myself I shouldn’t watch too much drama because it’ll take too much of my study time.
  • Complain about the amount to study. It’s so much fun to complain about this with others! ‘There’s too much to study!’, ‘I’ll never make it on time!’; well duh, of course I won’t, not if I don’t even start studying and stop fooling around.
  • Blogging. Yes, writing this post is a form of procrastinating too. Told you I was stupid.

Guess it’s time for me to go back to my studies again. After I’ve fetched myself something to drink of course. What? Who’s procrastinating?

Everything’s Okay!


Through this heaviness I’m feeling, I just need someone to say: ‘Everything’s okay!’
(source)

This is what I need at the moment, because I don’t feel like ‘everything’s okay’. I need support and if there’s no one who’s willing to cheer me up without having to ask for it, I’ll just keep playing this song non-stop, thanks to TubeReplay, until I’m satisfied.

Medicines

I think it’s important for (future) doctors to realize what they prescribe their patients and then especially when it comes to children.
As someone who has visited many different hospitals, doctors and homeopaths many times in her life and who has taken many kinds of medication and underwent many kinds of experimental treatment, I know what it’s like to be a child, but to be a patient at the same time. People often underestimate what a disease could do to a person, and for the future doctors of our generation I don’t want them to make the same mistakes many doctors made while treating me.
Never forget that a patient is a person, a child, a living being with hopes, dreams, hobbies and intelligence. In a way it doesn’t even seem right to call a patient a ‘patient’, because the word alone seems so create a distance between the doctor and person who is looking for healthcare. We are all human beings, created the same way and we’re all equally valuable, so not even a doctor could be found superior above a patient.

Because at the time I was ignorant and my parents were desperate to get me healthy, I obediently took a lot of medication. I remember a time when some doctor from I-don’t-know-where ‘experimented’ once again and I had to take about 20 pills each day. I think I was about six or seven at the time and because it wasn’t possible for me to swallow those pills, I had to mix them through my food.
Remember this for the rest of your life:
Medication tastes horrible.
I know the goal was to cure me, but it didn’t help at all and because this medication took away my appetite, even when I had stopped taking it, I began to despise doctors. It seemed that they always acted so knowledgeable and arrogantly, but they were actually plain stupid if it took them so much effort to cure me. Later on I did meet a doctor who was able to take care of me, though he didn’t cure me, and because of him I got my trust in doctors back.

The meaning of life is still unclear to me, but I’ve always thought: If people come to die anyway, all I want to do is make their life here more pleasant. And because from experiences I know what a doctor could mean to person, and I know how they shouldn’t act or treat their patients, the best way for me to do this, was to become a doctor myself.

Here I stand, more than 10 years later from the moment I had set that goal for myself, still working hard towards it. One day I’ll make it, that’s for sure.

Sink or swim

If I give up on something, I want to have the feeling that I did everything I could and that giving up is the only choice left for me. I couldn’t just give up, knowing I didn’t do everything I could, for I know I’ll hate myself in the end. I’m a fighter, not a coward. A finisher, not just a starter. Therefore if I start something, I always do it wholeheartedly, knowing I’ll stick to it to the end, no matter what will happen.
I can imagine how you might wonder why I suddenly publish such a personal post, but let’s just say today some things have happened: Someone made a choice and with that choice I saw clearly how I didn’t want to be.

In my about you could’ve read how I’m currently busy setting up a symposium with a commission within my study. The commission consists of seven people, of which I had befriended two of them before we started it. I don’t believe it to be uncommon that things don’t always go smooth when you’ve just started a commission; People don’t know each other yet, their views and opinions are still unknown so sometimes things can seem different than they’re meant to be: Misunderstandings!
We’ve had many misunderstandings in our meetings and because of some tension one of my friends wanted to quit. I couldn’t believe she would actually do this, because so far she’s the most creative and active person in our commission, but she did. Apparently the tension got too much of her and she simply didn’t enjoy it anymore. At least that’s what she said, but I honestly can’t believe it. If she didn’t like setting up the symposium with us, then why did she spent all those efforts in her creativity and had she such a great contribution to the commission so far? Because her words and actions seemed too contradictory to me, I couldn’t believe in her words.
Apparently I was wrong for believing in her strenght to not give up with something she had just started and wholeheartedly put effort in.
Her choice dissappoints me. Though I might not have the right to think this way, because I’m not in her situation and I don’t know what other things might bring stress to her at the moment, I don’t believe it should’ve went this way, no matter what.

Giving up is a choice, which means you can ALWAYS choose not to.

Home is where the heart is

Even though my university is pretty far from where I live, I still live with my parents. This means I have to travel about three hours every day to get to school, so getting up 5.45am if I have class at 8.30am isn’t unusual for me anymore. I have thought about moving out, but because I’m still busy with driving lessons in my hometown that isn’t possible at the moment. But hey, I won’t be learning how to drive forever, right? So as soon as I have my driving license I can move out…
Which is what I’m planning to do! Sometimes I just too excited to move out, I can’t wait! Especially when I’m staying with a friend for a night, who does live near our university, I notice how convenient it is to live near the university. Of course there are also downsides, like having to clean your room yourself etc., but when looking at the whole package I think it would be easy to conclude that moving out would be a better choice than staying with my parents.

You know what, let’s just make a list of the pros and cons. Just for fun, because I’ve actually already made up my mind.
Pros moving out:

  •  Less travel time to university, which means:
    – I’m able to sleep more, so I’m less tired than I am now these days and I can pay more attention in class and be more concentrated in general;
    – I’ll be less dependent on public transport; it makes it easier to stay longer at a place if you don’t have to worry about catching the train on time, and having to wait for it half and hour when you’ve just missed it, is NOT fun
  • Freedom! Independence! There’s no need to explain this one, I believe? (I will anyway, because I want to. HA!). Not having to explain every single action, not being obliged to justify myself if I want to go out (with this I don’t mean a party, but just walking outside without a goal, without people interrogating me if I’m going to visit my secret boyfriend, is satisfying enough for me),  etc. etc. etc.
    It’s like what I told my friend one day when I was staying with her for the night again. ‘When I’m staying with you, it feels like I’m alive’. This might sound rude towards my parents, but that’s how it felt.

Cons moving out:

  •  It costs a whole lot of money. I still have to figure out how much my financial support from the government will be when I move out and if I have to get a job to be able to pay for the mandatory costs. Probably it won’t be necessary to get a job, because my parents have told me they’re willing to support me, but that only goes to a certain level. When estimating my income I do believe that if I want to do anything extra (you know, fun stuff :P) I will have to get a job;
  • It might be lonely. I’ll probably miss my parents and brothers who I’m so used to seeing everyday. At the moment I just can’t imagine how it would be, coming home to a place knowing I won’t see them the rest of the week. Luckily I do have some friends who live in the city where I study, so hopefully their presence will be enough for me to not dwell in my loneliness;
  • I’ll have my stuff in two different places, so that might be an annoyance when I need one thing and I’m at one place and it’s at the other place. I don’t find this too much of a con though, because I think I’ll be able to adjust to this one pretty quickly.

I’m a student only once in my life and there are things that I can only do now. It would be a shame to miss those things just because of the place where I live.