SLP 9: Into the Rabbit Hole

28-05
‘I’m yours’. And I’m scared, incredibly scared, so these words mean the world to me. Just wait a little bit longer, so I’ll be able to give myself properly to you too.

29-05
A friend who cares enough about my well being to try to convince me to face one of my biggest fears, which is to open myself up to someone and love them

30-05
After failing a test I’d made that morning, I found myself wandering pretty lonely and uncomfortable. The attention I got from the guy I like and my best friend, even if it was just through texts and a call, meant the world to me and made the sun shine just a little bit more.
I love being loved, I believe my father was right when saying it’s the best feeling ever.

31-05
Surprise! My roommate was finally back! If only for a few hours though. I love how easy it was for me to connect with her. She made me feel very welcome and I even believe she likes me! No, I really do! She’s so nice!
31-05
Dear, sweet, kind brothers, thank you for loving me.


01-06

Exploring Rotterdam at night with my one of my dearest friends. I truly believe she’s one of the people in my life who genuinely cares about me.


02-06

Getting up early to see the sunrise at Rotterdam with my dear friend who spent the night.

02-06
View from the Euromast. It was so peaceful up there. I didn’t feel like taking pictures, I just wanted to stand still and look around. Didn’t even bother talking, I just wanted to look around with the sun shining on my face. Luckily my dear friend is very fond of taking pictures, so no credits for me for these ones :)

02-06|
DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE AT THE ROTTERDAM RAVE PARTY. Wasn’t quite sober so that might have been the reason I didn’t mind dancing on my own most of the time. Just dancing nothing more. Don’t think, just dance.

03-06
Hey, I like you, you know that?

SLP 8: Live life, it’s lovely


21-05

Look what my brother gave me! He made this one himself, because of an assignment on one of his classes. I’m happy he thought about me when deciding who’s name to engrave in this nameplate. It’s now standing on my desk, to remind me how much I’m loved, if I’d ever doubt that.

22-05
I like how a guy I’ve recently befriended carelessly played with the paw of the cat on my bag. I think I’ve made a new friend! There was a lack of people in my life who cared the past time, but with him it’s different, it’s just… It’s good, you know?


23-05

Taking a stroll at the park. I’m there very often these days, because for one thing I live right beside it and also because it’s a perfect place to escape to when I’m sick of studying in my room and I want to enjoy the sun. I went there alone, I’m practically always alone these days, but still I don’t feel lonely. It must be because of the sunshine!

23-05
While I was walking in the park I spotted a guy who was reading a book and I wanted to ask him about it so badly, but I just didn’t have the guts for it! I’m stupid, aren’t I! Luckily my friend was sending me texts all the way to encourage me to talk to him anyway, which made me feel a little less stupid. Oh, now I remember again why we’re best friends, I thought to myself. Because she’d be the only one I’d have these ridiculous conversations with about some strangers we’d never met and whom we’d develop some weird kind of obsession with. It’s hilarious I tell you.“I hereby announce you to ‘Bookboy’. You’re agreeing, unknowingly with the possible consequences; imaging, stalking and all such.”

24-05
After a rough and depressive night I found in the morning that my honest, but depressive thoughts I’d expressed on another blog were very much appreciated and recognized by many others. It’s comforting to know you’re not standing alone.

24-05
New friend who shared his happiness with me, of discovering that one of his life goals, climbing the Kilimanjaro, is mentioned for a short moment in the movie ‘The Lion King’, as the mountain is visible for only a few seconds, which is enough to create a huge smile on his face and a happy heart.

25-05
Waking up with the sun shining in my room. Usually I always kept my curtains shut, because I don’t like waking up with light shining on my face. Or so I thought, because waking up in this matter actually felt pretty damn good!

25-05
When I was walking that afternoon through The Park I got hit up by some guy who kept flirting and asking me for something to drink. You may think I’m weird, but I do NOT like it when guys are trying to hit me up, which is the exact reason why I usually avoid eye contact with men I don’t know. So I think you can understand that my stroll that afternoon wasn’t as peaceful and fun as I’d hoped it would be, as I’d find myself almost running back to my room, because I wanted to get rid of the guy.
The stroll I’d taken later that evening was a whole different story though! Once again I was walking alone, but even though I saw a lot of people walking with friends or family, all dressed up on their way to have a nice evening, I didn’t feel lonely. I’d even bottled up the courage to ask a couple that was walking by to take a picture of me, which turned out pretty awesome if you ask me, so that simple stroll made my whole day perfect! I was reminded what it was like to feel peaceful and be happy and the best part of it is that I didn’t need anyone for it, just being with me was enough to create these amazing feelings.
I’m still in dilemma whether or not to post the said picture. Maybe I’ll add it? What do you think, would you like to see it? :)

25-05
There’s this pass you can purchase in my city for a low price through which you can visit a lot of places for free or at discount. By these you must think about cinema’s, touristic spots, restaurants, museums and many more. I have this recently purchased this pass and when I asked a friend if he’d had one, so we could perhaps do something together, he told me that he didn’t, but after hearing from me what kind of things we could do, he said he would purchase one! Wow! I’m not used to people actually doing such a thing just because I ask them for it! That he’s willing to purchase this pass just so we could do something together (and of course there are many other things he could do with other friends, don’t get me wrong, I don’t think it’s all about me), makes me so incredibly happy!

26-05
My parents who decided to stop by just when I was feeling lonely and desiring a hug. Talking about timing! Even when they’re about 100km’s away they still feel what I need the most.


27-05

‘Sunrise 5.30am! Crazy enough to join me? :p’, and he was. I had the most unexpected, wonderful, crazy, but oh so good night/morning/noon since well, ever. There were many ‘firsts’ for me, like for one thing it was the first time in my life I actually watched the sunrise with someone, the first time sleeping with someone and many other things, but I’d like to keep those other things to myself.

SLP 4: I am loved


25/04
Today I went for a quick visit in my new room. I felt the tears in my eyes as I was staring outside the window; this is going to be my new life.
25/04
After the visit, when just walking around, I started to run and jump up and down. I felt like flying! I felt great! I felt awesome! I felt alive!
26/04
Textmessage from a friend: “Mich, we really have to stay friends forever!”
She was drinking tea at a cute shop while studying and was feeling very zen and cool and knew that I’d understand just exactly how she felt. It feels amazing that a person could have such lovely thoughts about me! I love her, we are we.
27/04
Twirling in my room, pretending it’s summer and I’m picnicking in the park with friends. Afterwards when quietly sitting down again and continuing my studies I suddenly see a rainbow outside my window. Though the two happenings might seem to have nothing to do with each other, when seeing the rainbow I started to think back about my worries what could happen when I’m moving out and I’ll be living on my own and I believe this to be a sign that everything is going to be alright.
28/04
My lovely parents already went to my room today themselves, because I couldn’t come with them, for I have a test to prepare for. They already did some of the preparations it and did a lot of grocery shopping for me so I wouldn’t have to do it myself anymore. They’re just so so lovely.


28/04
My brother gave me a mug where you can put fresh tea leaves in. It has cats on it! I have a special connection with cats: 1. My parents sometimes call me ‘cat’, as I sometimes have the bitchy attitude of one. In my new room they won’t be there anymore to call me by that nickname. 2. Besides that I can sometimes be bitchy, I love to cuddle too, which is another cat-like feature of me. I think that should I be reborn as an animal, or if I’d ever turn into an animal, I’d like to turn into a cat! 3. Do you remember I cosplayed as Hello Kitty when I went to Tsunacon? It’s an animecon that was held in the Netherlands a few months ago. Yes, the cat really is perfect for me!
Did I mention I’m surrounded by the most wonderful people?

SLP 3: See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty


16/04

Got a call and now I’ve been choosed for the room! I’m moving out! What I like about this, is that my new roommate could have chosen others beside me, but still choose me! Wow, I’m incredibly happy! Now my whole life is going to change! I’m going to be a Rotterdammer!!
16/04
I got my propeadeutics! I studied so hard for the final test and I’d been stressing out a lot, but in the end it was all worth it! Now I can’t get kicked out of this study anymore! I’m a medschool student!
16/04
My parents who hugged and congratulated me when they heard the two big things in my life.
16/04
A phonecall from a friend who stayed up with me in the middle of the night who actually wanted to talk about her worries, but still let me blab about my happiness first, because I was so excited and because she loves me she was excited for me.
17/04
Breakfast with a lovely friend who is one of the most sweetest and kindest people I know. I love how people can be so happy for you, just because they care so much.
19/04
Dancing at a party with friends. When I signed my rental contract for my new room that morning I felt like crying. I’d felt like that for almost the whole day until that night when my friends and I went out for a party and we just started to dance. It felt so good to just dance and not think about anything, not care about anything. Some times it felt like the time had stopped for a second and then started again. It felt really good.
Or I was just a bit tipsy and that’s why I felt a couple of times like time had stopped. Either way I felt awesome!
22/04 
I didn’t know what colour to choose to paint the walls of my new room with, so I just went to the store to decide on the spot. There I discovered a colour called ‘beauty’, which was a very light shade of pink. Normally I’m not too fond of pink and also my mother started to laugh at me when she saw the colour I’d chosen, but this time it was different. I choose it because of the name and not necessarily because of the colour. This colour ‘beauty’ describes perfectly how I want to live my life; with beauty. See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty. 

Hello New Life!

In one week my whole life has changed. This was the week I got my propaedeutics, I visited a room and I actually got chosen for the room! I’M MOVING OUT, PEOPLE! I’m going to live in Rotterdam from now on! This Thursday I’m going to sign the rental contract and since that moment I’m not living with my parents anymore, but I’ll be on my own. I’ve imagined this moment for so many times and now that it’s actually happening I can’t really believe it. It’s all going so fast!
But I’m happy, I really am, because these events have showed me just how lovely my friends are and how lovely it is to share happiness with others, how amazing it is to feel yourself shine and see that it’s affecting others too. AND I’M EXCITED! Me, a 19-year old short girl who has lived with her parents her whole life, who was never allowed to go on sleepovers, is actually finally moving out. Even before her older brothers are, even before she’s married or has a boyfriend; these are the scenarios I’d only dreamed of and now it’s actually happening. I still can’t believe it. Even when writing this post my mind feels like ‘durrrr’ and I have weird look on my face that says ‘To smile, or not to smile? To be confused or not to be confused? Is this realityyyyy??’, I bet you can imagine it’s not my prettiest look. (Or you can’t, since I’ve never posted a picture of myself on here before! Ha! Gotcha!)

Let me end this wacko, perhaps confusing and chaotic, but uttermost happy post with some Queen!
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? –  You tell me!

Spring is coming

When I’m studying at my faculty, everything seems serious and real. But who knew that right next to this building that guides you to reality, lies a beautiful and idyllic park? The real world and the dream world, situated right next to each other. It’s so nice to take a stroll there, which I should do more often, because it sets my mind at ease. Everything is whispering and hinting that spring is almost coming and everyone is waiting patiently for it to arrive.
Flowers, bloom! Sun, shine! New life, your time is now!

TSUNAcon 2012

This Sunday was the day I had been waiting for, for over a year; it was finally time for Tsunacon!
In short it was:
– Awesome
– Fun
– Busy
– Colourful
– Cute
Did I already mention awesome?

This year the convention was held at the Erasmus University on the Woudestein campus. It was in held in the same building where I usually make my exams! And how weird it was to see how our exam room had changed into a dealerroom… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to shake that image off my mind the next times I have to make an exam in that same room.
With my kigurumi Hello Kitty costume on I bravely started my journey and while sitting peacefully in the train I got many stares from non-cosplayers who probably wondered where the hell I was going. I think I’ll just take those as a compliment; I like being unique. After arriving at the venue and standing in line in the freezing cold, this weather is ridiculous I tell you, we could finally go inside and that was when our new Tsunacon-adventure could start Also this year our day was filled with gawking at people and taking pictures of, and with, them. We also attended a chocolate workshop where we made three little bonbons. They’re now sitting on my desk, nicely wrapped with a purple ribbon.
Guess who will be the lucky man to get these for Valentine’s Day.

In many ways there were pros and cons to this convention in comparison with that of last year. I don’t want to think about the cons actually, because for me I had a great time on this convention that had A LOT of pros! Again there were really pretty cosplays made and I finally had an awesome cosplay myself! I’m happy that I brought my own bento box with me, because the line in front of the Ichiraku Ramen stand was ridiculously long, I believe some people stood in line for more than an hour! That did give me enough time to look at their costumes shamelessly while chewing on my own sandwiches though…

They had a DDRroom this year! My coordination is horrible, therefore I could only dance on the light mode, but still it was so awesome! (Yes, I can only say ‘awesome’ and ‘fun’ in this post. It seems my vocabulaire has shortened in no time when I talk about Tsunacon).

My description of my day might seem that I didn’t do very much and it was all a waste of time and money, but I have to tell you that isn’t true. You might have to be there to feel how awesome (there you have it again) it was to just be together with a bunch of dressed up people who have all put so much effort in their costumes and with who you have your hobbies in common and and and… Just go to an animeconvention one day if you haven’t already, only then you’ll truly understand what I’m talking about.