SLP 6 – Just a bit of happiness, please

07/05
Discovering a secret garden near my room. I really do believe that it’s secret, but that doesn’t stop me of telling the world about it as the place is just too lovely to not share it with others. I want to go there again, as soon as possible!
08/05
Getting my driver’s license. I couldn’t believe that I did it! When I started to learn to drive I thought it was impossible for me to ever get my license, but now I actually did it. Wow. I couldn’t believe it, I still can’t believe it!
08/05
My brother who came by my room to have dinner together and totally treated me like a princess to celebrate getting  my driver’s license. He brought us delicious buns, cupcakes and a whoopie pie to celebrate it with, it was lovely.
09/05
Not failing a test of which I thought beforehand that I’d fail and feeling incredibly zen and peaceful in the evening while chatting with my parents on the phone, cooking in my room and almost falling asleep on my couch because everything just felt too perfect.
13/05
The look on my mother’s face when I surprised her not only with pancakes, cakes and other yummie homemade food on her birthday (and Mother’s Day on the same day!), but also with a dress of which she hadn’t expected at all to get and which she loved. I like making people happy this way, if only for that look on her face and those feelings, it means the world to me.

SLP 5: A Cup of Cake

30/04
Reading a blog from a girl who expresses herself the way I wish I could. It’s  nice to read how someone can still express herself so deeply, while I still seem to struggle with it. She inspires me to keep trying until I am able to. Thank you, Eleanor.
01/05
Little girl in the train while I was travelling to my room to spend the night there for the first time. Her mother was too busy playing with her phone so the girl drew all her attention to me, who was sitting diagonally behind her and did about everything to draw my attention to her. She succeeded, easily.
02/05
My mother who came to visit me in my room and not only we did some grocery shopping together, before I went to make my exam, but also when I came back she surprised me with preparing one of my favorite vegetables: broccoli and tofu, which I love to eat too, but because my siblings and parents aren’t too fond of we don’t eat it a lot at home. Now I’ve moved out I can eat as much tofu as I want!
02/05
After I found out there was something wrong with my connection to the internet I was actually pretty bummed out. Then I found how peaceful it actually was. I felt incredibly zen~.
02/05
My brother who texted me good night just when I was preparing to go to bed too. I’d like to call this serendipity.
04/05
Guy who was walking behind me with a trolley and though I didn’t know the guy at all he acted like he was ‘The monster on wheels’ and joked around with me. He was so funny!
04/05
My friends who came to visit me and we had an improvisation house warming at my new place. Their presence made the place feel a little more like home to me.
05/05
My wonderful parents and brothers who worked their ass of helping me with decorating my room, which include putting all of the IKEA furniture together. I was so tired, but so satisfied and happy at the same time.

SLP 4: I am loved


25/04
Today I went for a quick visit in my new room. I felt the tears in my eyes as I was staring outside the window; this is going to be my new life.
25/04
After the visit, when just walking around, I started to run and jump up and down. I felt like flying! I felt great! I felt awesome! I felt alive!
26/04
Textmessage from a friend: “Mich, we really have to stay friends forever!”
She was drinking tea at a cute shop while studying and was feeling very zen and cool and knew that I’d understand just exactly how she felt. It feels amazing that a person could have such lovely thoughts about me! I love her, we are we.
27/04
Twirling in my room, pretending it’s summer and I’m picnicking in the park with friends. Afterwards when quietly sitting down again and continuing my studies I suddenly see a rainbow outside my window. Though the two happenings might seem to have nothing to do with each other, when seeing the rainbow I started to think back about my worries what could happen when I’m moving out and I’ll be living on my own and I believe this to be a sign that everything is going to be alright.
28/04
My lovely parents already went to my room today themselves, because I couldn’t come with them, for I have a test to prepare for. They already did some of the preparations it and did a lot of grocery shopping for me so I wouldn’t have to do it myself anymore. They’re just so so lovely.


28/04
My brother gave me a mug where you can put fresh tea leaves in. It has cats on it! I have a special connection with cats: 1. My parents sometimes call me ‘cat’, as I sometimes have the bitchy attitude of one. In my new room they won’t be there anymore to call me by that nickname. 2. Besides that I can sometimes be bitchy, I love to cuddle too, which is another cat-like feature of me. I think that should I be reborn as an animal, or if I’d ever turn into an animal, I’d like to turn into a cat! 3. Do you remember I cosplayed as Hello Kitty when I went to Tsunacon? It’s an animecon that was held in the Netherlands a few months ago. Yes, the cat really is perfect for me!
Did I mention I’m surrounded by the most wonderful people?

SLP 3: See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty


16/04

Got a call and now I’ve been choosed for the room! I’m moving out! What I like about this, is that my new roommate could have chosen others beside me, but still choose me! Wow, I’m incredibly happy! Now my whole life is going to change! I’m going to be a Rotterdammer!!
16/04
I got my propeadeutics! I studied so hard for the final test and I’d been stressing out a lot, but in the end it was all worth it! Now I can’t get kicked out of this study anymore! I’m a medschool student!
16/04
My parents who hugged and congratulated me when they heard the two big things in my life.
16/04
A phonecall from a friend who stayed up with me in the middle of the night who actually wanted to talk about her worries, but still let me blab about my happiness first, because I was so excited and because she loves me she was excited for me.
17/04
Breakfast with a lovely friend who is one of the most sweetest and kindest people I know. I love how people can be so happy for you, just because they care so much.
19/04
Dancing at a party with friends. When I signed my rental contract for my new room that morning I felt like crying. I’d felt like that for almost the whole day until that night when my friends and I went out for a party and we just started to dance. It felt so good to just dance and not think about anything, not care about anything. Some times it felt like the time had stopped for a second and then started again. It felt really good.
Or I was just a bit tipsy and that’s why I felt a couple of times like time had stopped. Either way I felt awesome!
22/04 
I didn’t know what colour to choose to paint the walls of my new room with, so I just went to the store to decide on the spot. There I discovered a colour called ‘beauty’, which was a very light shade of pink. Normally I’m not too fond of pink and also my mother started to laugh at me when she saw the colour I’d chosen, but this time it was different. I choose it because of the name and not necessarily because of the colour. This colour ‘beauty’ describes perfectly how I want to live my life; with beauty. See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty. 

Hello New Life!

In one week my whole life has changed. This was the week I got my propaedeutics, I visited a room and I actually got chosen for the room! I’M MOVING OUT, PEOPLE! I’m going to live in Rotterdam from now on! This Thursday I’m going to sign the rental contract and since that moment I’m not living with my parents anymore, but I’ll be on my own. I’ve imagined this moment for so many times and now that it’s actually happening I can’t really believe it. It’s all going so fast!
But I’m happy, I really am, because these events have showed me just how lovely my friends are and how lovely it is to share happiness with others, how amazing it is to feel yourself shine and see that it’s affecting others too. AND I’M EXCITED! Me, a 19-year old short girl who has lived with her parents her whole life, who was never allowed to go on sleepovers, is actually finally moving out. Even before her older brothers are, even before she’s married or has a boyfriend; these are the scenarios I’d only dreamed of and now it’s actually happening. I still can’t believe it. Even when writing this post my mind feels like ‘durrrr’ and I have weird look on my face that says ‘To smile, or not to smile? To be confused or not to be confused? Is this realityyyyy??’, I bet you can imagine it’s not my prettiest look. (Or you can’t, since I’ve never posted a picture of myself on here before! Ha! Gotcha!)

Let me end this wacko, perhaps confusing and chaotic, but uttermost happy post with some Queen!
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? –  You tell me!

SLP 2


11/04:
A girl from my studies complemented me on my DOMO-bag and said that I always carried ‘gadgets’, by which she probably meant that I own some cute and different stuff that isn’t mainstream. I’m happy how she notices me and my style and how both are appreciated.

11/04:
Usually I really really really dislike bad weather, but this time it felt so lovely and amazing to just walk carelessly in the rain, while sipping on my café au lait without an umbrella. I felt awesome!

11/04:
Getting a call from the ‘stranger’ met on the streets. It was so nice to talk to him again, for some reason I don’t have to put any effort in connecting with him and the conversation just flowed. He actually called to invite me for a job interview and as I’m not interested in the job itself, but I am in seeing him again, we’re going to meet today. I hope we can become friends, I think I’d like that.

12/04:
Hanging out with a friend and feeling that everything was perfect. I didn’t feel very well for the past few weeks, but that Thursday it felt like everything was suddenly okay. More than okay even. I won’t tread too much into detail, because I can’t really explain it very well, but don’t you ever have that feeling that just being with someone makes you feel like all is just, perfect?

13/04:
I got invited to visit a room where the roommate had to choose another roommate (I don’t know how it’s called in English, but it’s kind of like a job interview, but different) and when I told my friend about it, she immediately said I didn’t have to worry about getting the room, because I’m always spontaneous and enthusiastic about things. I’m happy that’s the way people view me! I’d always thought that I’m unnoticed, but when people say these kind of things about me, it shows that they do notice me and that they like what they see.

13/04:
After quite a long time I finally felt strong enough to solve a certain issue, instead of running away from it hoping it would solve itself, like I’d done for the past time. The issue involved a guy and our not-so-or-maybe-yes-relationship we’ve had for more than half a year, but now we’ve finally actually talked it out and I finally said what I had to say. It feels good to know where we stand, because now I can finally move on. Like he said, who knows what the future may have in store for us? For now I’ll just accept it for what it is and I believe that I’ve finally done the right thing.