SLP 3: See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty


16/04

Got a call and now I’ve been choosed for the room! I’m moving out! What I like about this, is that my new roommate could have chosen others beside me, but still choose me! Wow, I’m incredibly happy! Now my whole life is going to change! I’m going to be a Rotterdammer!!
16/04
I got my propeadeutics! I studied so hard for the final test and I’d been stressing out a lot, but in the end it was all worth it! Now I can’t get kicked out of this study anymore! I’m a medschool student!
16/04
My parents who hugged and congratulated me when they heard the two big things in my life.
16/04
A phonecall from a friend who stayed up with me in the middle of the night who actually wanted to talk about her worries, but still let me blab about my happiness first, because I was so excited and because she loves me she was excited for me.
17/04
Breakfast with a lovely friend who is one of the most sweetest and kindest people I know. I love how people can be so happy for you, just because they care so much.
19/04
Dancing at a party with friends. When I signed my rental contract for my new room that morning I felt like crying. I’d felt like that for almost the whole day until that night when my friends and I went out for a party and we just started to dance. It felt so good to just dance and not think about anything, not care about anything. Some times it felt like the time had stopped for a second and then started again. It felt really good.
Or I was just a bit tipsy and that’s why I felt a couple of times like time had stopped. Either way I felt awesome!
22/04 
I didn’t know what colour to choose to paint the walls of my new room with, so I just went to the store to decide on the spot. There I discovered a colour called ‘beauty’, which was a very light shade of pink. Normally I’m not too fond of pink and also my mother started to laugh at me when she saw the colour I’d chosen, but this time it was different. I choose it because of the name and not necessarily because of the colour. This colour ‘beauty’ describes perfectly how I want to live my life; with beauty. See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty. 

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Home is where the heart is

Even though my university is pretty far from where I live, I still live with my parents. This means I have to travel about three hours every day to get to school, so getting up 5.45am if I have class at 8.30am isn’t unusual for me anymore. I have thought about moving out, but because I’m still busy with driving lessons in my hometown that isn’t possible at the moment. But hey, I won’t be learning how to drive forever, right? So as soon as I have my driving license I can move out…
Which is what I’m planning to do! Sometimes I just too excited to move out, I can’t wait! Especially when I’m staying with a friend for a night, who does live near our university, I notice how convenient it is to live near the university. Of course there are also downsides, like having to clean your room yourself etc., but when looking at the whole package I think it would be easy to conclude that moving out would be a better choice than staying with my parents.

You know what, let’s just make a list of the pros and cons. Just for fun, because I’ve actually already made up my mind.
Pros moving out:

  •  Less travel time to university, which means:
    – I’m able to sleep more, so I’m less tired than I am now these days and I can pay more attention in class and be more concentrated in general;
    – I’ll be less dependent on public transport; it makes it easier to stay longer at a place if you don’t have to worry about catching the train on time, and having to wait for it half and hour when you’ve just missed it, is NOT fun
  • Freedom! Independence! There’s no need to explain this one, I believe? (I will anyway, because I want to. HA!). Not having to explain every single action, not being obliged to justify myself if I want to go out (with this I don’t mean a party, but just walking outside without a goal, without people interrogating me if I’m going to visit my secret boyfriend, is satisfying enough for me),  etc. etc. etc.
    It’s like what I told my friend one day when I was staying with her for the night again. ‘When I’m staying with you, it feels like I’m alive’. This might sound rude towards my parents, but that’s how it felt.

Cons moving out:

  •  It costs a whole lot of money. I still have to figure out how much my financial support from the government will be when I move out and if I have to get a job to be able to pay for the mandatory costs. Probably it won’t be necessary to get a job, because my parents have told me they’re willing to support me, but that only goes to a certain level. When estimating my income I do believe that if I want to do anything extra (you know, fun stuff :P) I will have to get a job;
  • It might be lonely. I’ll probably miss my parents and brothers who I’m so used to seeing everyday. At the moment I just can’t imagine how it would be, coming home to a place knowing I won’t see them the rest of the week. Luckily I do have some friends who live in the city where I study, so hopefully their presence will be enough for me to not dwell in my loneliness;
  • I’ll have my stuff in two different places, so that might be an annoyance when I need one thing and I’m at one place and it’s at the other place. I don’t find this too much of a con though, because I think I’ll be able to adjust to this one pretty quickly.

I’m a student only once in my life and there are things that I can only do now. It would be a shame to miss those things just because of the place where I live.