The day I did not win a car

‘Congratulations! You’re one of the lucky three persons who has a chance to win a car!’ 

It’s about half a year ago when I signed a form through which I participated in a contest of winning a car, a Ford Ka to be precisely. I signed it the same time when I signed a contract for my driving lessons and apparently the company also gave away three cars to three of their pupils. Yeah whatever, as if I would ever win, was what I thought when I signed the other form for entering the contest. It was the same thing I thought when I was called about a month after I’d signed it when a very happy and enthusiastic woman told me I was one of the lucky three who had a chance of winning one of the cars and it’s what I thought when I got a call last week when I was told I didn’t win the car. As soon as some people knew that I had a pretty big chance of winning this car, they became pretty excited and above all, they found it weird that I wasn’t excited myself. Should I’ve been excited? For what actually?
I’d been thinking about what to do if I’d win the car and I’d come to the conclusion that I’d sell it. I think it’s worth about €10.000 so this money would be pretty useful to pay my studies with and I could use it when I move out to pay my room with so I wouldn’t have to bother my parents. Could it be called ungrateful for wanting to sell the car that I could’ve won? Perhaps, but who cares? I don’t even know what I would have done with the car itself; I don’t need it, as I have free access to public transport as long as I’m studying and I couldn’t have given it to my parents either since they already have a car themselves. Selling it would be the best option then, don’t you think? If I’d won it, that is.
The car I did not win

I wasn’t in the best mood the past couple of weeks so when they informed me on a Wednesday that they’d call me the Friday after to tell me if I’d won the car, I started to think about how I should react if I’d win it. My head’s been fuzzy for quite some time, busy with too many things to think about so to be honest I actually saw this car as a bother. If I’d win it I’d just have to act happy and smile and cheer and do whatever people do when they win something big, and then sell it as soon as possible before it would bring even more trouble than it’s worth.
That Friday when they called me I hadn’t won the car, I believe I was even smiling when I was talking on the phone. Of relief, probably, so I wouldn’t have to act. Yeah go ahead, call me an idiotl! But it’s just no big deal to me, because I might not have won anything, but I haven’t lost anything either, so why would I care? It’s not something that I would’ve earned with my own abilities so it would be less worth than anything else that I have, it wouldn’t even be something to be proud of since I didn’t work for it; I didn’t have to do anything for it accept sign a form, so I’m not disappointed that I didn’t win. And I don’t even like cars, hence the selling-part.

It’s not quite true that I haven’t won anything by the way, as they did offer me lessons for driving on a slippery surface, which I immediately gave away to my brother since he wants it and I well, don’t. So in a way I have won something: a way to make my brother happy. He’s quite the adventures type, likes bungee jumping and such, so these lessons are perfect for him. Being able to make my brother happy is so much more worth to me than winning a car.