SLP 3: See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty


Got a call and now I’ve been choosed for the room! I’m moving out! What I like about this, is that my new roommate could have chosen others beside me, but still choose me! Wow, I’m incredibly happy! Now my whole life is going to change! I’m going to be a Rotterdammer!!
I got my propeadeutics! I studied so hard for the final test and I’d been stressing out a lot, but in the end it was all worth it! Now I can’t get kicked out of this study anymore! I’m a medschool student!
My parents who hugged and congratulated me when they heard the two big things in my life.
A phonecall from a friend who stayed up with me in the middle of the night who actually wanted to talk about her worries, but still let me blab about my happiness first, because I was so excited and because she loves me she was excited for me.
Breakfast with a lovely friend who is one of the most sweetest and kindest people I know. I love how people can be so happy for you, just because they care so much.
Dancing at a party with friends. When I signed my rental contract for my new room that morning I felt like crying. I’d felt like that for almost the whole day until that night when my friends and I went out for a party and we just started to dance. It felt so good to just dance and not think about anything, not care about anything. Some times it felt like the time had stopped for a second and then started again. It felt really good.
Or I was just a bit tipsy and that’s why I felt a couple of times like time had stopped. Either way I felt awesome!
I didn’t know what colour to choose to paint the walls of my new room with, so I just went to the store to decide on the spot. There I discovered a colour called ‘beauty’, which was a very light shade of pink. Normally I’m not too fond of pink and also my mother started to laugh at me when she saw the colour I’d chosen, but this time it was different. I choose it because of the name and not necessarily because of the colour. This colour ‘beauty’ describes perfectly how I want to live my life; with beauty. See beauty, feel beauty, be beauty. 


Hello New Life!

In one week my whole life has changed. This was the week I got my propaedeutics, I visited a room and I actually got chosen for the room! I’M MOVING OUT, PEOPLE! I’m going to live in Rotterdam from now on! This Thursday I’m going to sign the rental contract and since that moment I’m not living with my parents anymore, but I’ll be on my own. I’ve imagined this moment for so many times and now that it’s actually happening I can’t really believe it. It’s all going so fast!
But I’m happy, I really am, because these events have showed me just how lovely my friends are and how lovely it is to share happiness with others, how amazing it is to feel yourself shine and see that it’s affecting others too. AND I’M EXCITED! Me, a 19-year old short girl who has lived with her parents her whole life, who was never allowed to go on sleepovers, is actually finally moving out. Even before her older brothers are, even before she’s married or has a boyfriend; these are the scenarios I’d only dreamed of and now it’s actually happening. I still can’t believe it. Even when writing this post my mind feels like ‘durrrr’ and I have weird look on my face that says ‘To smile, or not to smile? To be confused or not to be confused? Is this realityyyyy??’, I bet you can imagine it’s not my prettiest look. (Or you can’t, since I’ve never posted a picture of myself on here before! Ha! Gotcha!)

Let me end this wacko, perhaps confusing and chaotic, but uttermost happy post with some Queen!
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy? –  You tell me!


A girl from my studies complemented me on my DOMO-bag and said that I always carried ‘gadgets’, by which she probably meant that I own some cute and different stuff that isn’t mainstream. I’m happy how she notices me and my style and how both are appreciated.

Usually I really really really dislike bad weather, but this time it felt so lovely and amazing to just walk carelessly in the rain, while sipping on my café au lait without an umbrella. I felt awesome!

Getting a call from the ‘stranger’ met on the streets. It was so nice to talk to him again, for some reason I don’t have to put any effort in connecting with him and the conversation just flowed. He actually called to invite me for a job interview and as I’m not interested in the job itself, but I am in seeing him again, we’re going to meet today. I hope we can become friends, I think I’d like that.

Hanging out with a friend and feeling that everything was perfect. I didn’t feel very well for the past few weeks, but that Thursday it felt like everything was suddenly okay. More than okay even. I won’t tread too much into detail, because I can’t really explain it very well, but don’t you ever have that feeling that just being with someone makes you feel like all is just, perfect?

I got invited to visit a room where the roommate had to choose another roommate (I don’t know how it’s called in English, but it’s kind of like a job interview, but different) and when I told my friend about it, she immediately said I didn’t have to worry about getting the room, because I’m always spontaneous and enthusiastic about things. I’m happy that’s the way people view me! I’d always thought that I’m unnoticed, but when people say these kind of things about me, it shows that they do notice me and that they like what they see.

After quite a long time I finally felt strong enough to solve a certain issue, instead of running away from it hoping it would solve itself, like I’d done for the past time. The issue involved a guy and our not-so-or-maybe-yes-relationship we’ve had for more than half a year, but now we’ve finally actually talked it out and I finally said what I had to say. It feels good to know where we stand, because now I can finally move on. Like he said, who knows what the future may have in store for us? For now I’ll just accept it for what it is and I believe that I’ve finally done the right thing.

I AM: Bored

And you must be too! I mean, who’d bother to read my ‘Food Diaries’ every single day? (Ok, many people apparently, but still) When I started with it, it seemed like a good idea to me, because I wanted to capture how healthy (or unhealthy) I eat, but now that I’ve been doing it for quite some time I have to admit that it starts to bore me. Those posts just start to get more and more dull, because I don’t really care about them, so I can’t imagine that you do. There are many more interesting things happening in my life, so many more interesting thoughts and inspirations, so why would I bother wasting my time writing those ‘Food Diaries’ if I can use it to write something better??
So here’s the conclusion: No more Food Diaries!
Let’s move on to the next chapter of my Secret Little Paradise!

Food Diary: 14th of April, 2012


– One bowl of low-fat yogurt with muesli with apple and raisins
– One whole-wheat mini-baguette with sardines in tomato sauce
– Rice porridge
Poffertjes with powdered sugar. Have you ever eaten, or hear of, poffertjes? It’s a Dutch treat, and they’re like mini pancakes. It’s nice to eat as a snack in between, but it could also be eaten for dinner!
– Rice with turkey, ham and green beans
– Half an apple
– A half slice of toasted whole-wheat bread with metworst
– A half slice of toasted whole-wheat bread with cumin cheese

– Four mugs of forest fruit tea
– One glass of orange juice
– One mug of hot chocolatemilk

Food Diary: 13th of April, 2012

– One bowl of low-fat yogurt with muesli with apple and raisins
– One whole-wheat mini-baguette with meatballs and ketchup
– One half whole-wheat mini-baguette with fish
– One apple
– Fried noodles with chicken

– Two mugs of rooibos cinnamon tea
– One cup of orange juice
– One little package of multi fruit juice
– One glass of clear lemonade, grenadine flavour

Food Diary: 12th of April, 2012

Just another lazy day afternoon!
– McFly

I didn’t eat dinner today, because I was with a friend and well, we just forgot all about dinner, true story.

– One croque monsieur made with low-fat cheese and curry sauce
– Two slices of ontbijtkoek
– Two slices of whole-wheat bread with ham and cheese
– Two Merci: Dark Mousse. I got these from a friend, because I like the dark chocolates from the Merci-box and he doesn’t. Hehe, I like people who give me chocolate!

– A bowl of rice porridge

– One mug of café au lait with soy milk and a sweetener
– One little package of multi fruit juice
– One mug of green tea lemon

Food Diary: 11th of April, 2012

I always like to relax after having an exam with some friends, so that’s what we did after making the exam we had this morning. We’d planned to go on a picnic, but unfortunately the weather didn’t allow us to do so, so we stayed inside. Luckily we had cookies and lovely friends to share this day with!

– Four slices of whole-wheat bread with ham and cumin cheese
– One raisin-lemon cookie
– One sprits. It’s a Dutch kind of cookie, that’s originally from Germany.
– Rice with beans and yard long beans
– Rice porridge. Homemade by moi yesterday. As if I didn’t have enough rice for dinner already. But hey, it’s sweet! I like sweet, so that’s a good thing!

– One mug of café au lait with soy milk and a sweetener
– One little package of multi fruit juice
– One cup of café au lait
– Two mugs of tropical fruit tea

The day I did not win a car

‘Congratulations! You’re one of the lucky three persons who has a chance to win a car!’ 

It’s about half a year ago when I signed a form through which I participated in a contest of winning a car, a Ford Ka to be precisely. I signed it the same time when I signed a contract for my driving lessons and apparently the company also gave away three cars to three of their pupils. Yeah whatever, as if I would ever win, was what I thought when I signed the other form for entering the contest. It was the same thing I thought when I was called about a month after I’d signed it when a very happy and enthusiastic woman told me I was one of the lucky three who had a chance of winning one of the cars and it’s what I thought when I got a call last week when I was told I didn’t win the car. As soon as some people knew that I had a pretty big chance of winning this car, they became pretty excited and above all, they found it weird that I wasn’t excited myself. Should I’ve been excited? For what actually?
I’d been thinking about what to do if I’d win the car and I’d come to the conclusion that I’d sell it. I think it’s worth about €10.000 so this money would be pretty useful to pay my studies with and I could use it when I move out to pay my room with so I wouldn’t have to bother my parents. Could it be called ungrateful for wanting to sell the car that I could’ve won? Perhaps, but who cares? I don’t even know what I would have done with the car itself; I don’t need it, as I have free access to public transport as long as I’m studying and I couldn’t have given it to my parents either since they already have a car themselves. Selling it would be the best option then, don’t you think? If I’d won it, that is.
The car I did not win

I wasn’t in the best mood the past couple of weeks so when they informed me on a Wednesday that they’d call me the Friday after to tell me if I’d won the car, I started to think about how I should react if I’d win it. My head’s been fuzzy for quite some time, busy with too many things to think about so to be honest I actually saw this car as a bother. If I’d win it I’d just have to act happy and smile and cheer and do whatever people do when they win something big, and then sell it as soon as possible before it would bring even more trouble than it’s worth.
That Friday when they called me I hadn’t won the car, I believe I was even smiling when I was talking on the phone. Of relief, probably, so I wouldn’t have to act. Yeah go ahead, call me an idiotl! But it’s just no big deal to me, because I might not have won anything, but I haven’t lost anything either, so why would I care? It’s not something that I would’ve earned with my own abilities so it would be less worth than anything else that I have, it wouldn’t even be something to be proud of since I didn’t work for it; I didn’t have to do anything for it accept sign a form, so I’m not disappointed that I didn’t win. And I don’t even like cars, hence the selling-part.

It’s not quite true that I haven’t won anything by the way, as they did offer me lessons for driving on a slippery surface, which I immediately gave away to my brother since he wants it and I well, don’t. So in a way I have won something: a way to make my brother happy. He’s quite the adventures type, likes bungee jumping and such, so these lessons are perfect for him. Being able to make my brother happy is so much more worth to me than winning a car.