If I give up on something, I want to have the feeling that I did everything I could and that giving up is the only choice left for me. I couldn’t just give up, knowing I didn’t do everything I could, for I know I’ll hate myself in the end. I’m a fighter, not a coward. A finisher, not just a starter. Therefore if I start something, I always do it wholeheartedly, knowing I’ll stick to it to the end, no matter what will happen.
I can imagine how you might wonder why I suddenly publish such a personal post, but let’s just say today some things have happened: Someone made a choice and with that choice I saw clearly how I didn’t want to be.
In my about you could’ve read how I’m currently busy setting up a symposium with a commission within my study. The commission consists of seven people, of which I had befriended two of them before we started it. I don’t believe it to be uncommon that things don’t always go smooth when you’ve just started a commission; People don’t know each other yet, their views and opinions are still unknown so sometimes things can seem different than they’re meant to be: Misunderstandings!
We’ve had many misunderstandings in our meetings and because of some tension one of my friends wanted to quit. I couldn’t believe she would actually do this, because so far she’s the most creative and active person in our commission, but she did. Apparently the tension got too much of her and she simply didn’t enjoy it anymore. At least that’s what she said, but I honestly can’t believe it. If she didn’t like setting up the symposium with us, then why did she spent all those efforts in her creativity and had she such a great contribution to the commission so far? Because her words and actions seemed too contradictory to me, I couldn’t believe in her words.
Apparently I was wrong for believing in her strenght to not give up with something she had just started and wholeheartedly put effort in.
Her choice dissappoints me. Though I might not have the right to think this way, because I’m not in her situation and I don’t know what other things might bring stress to her at the moment, I don’t believe it should’ve went this way, no matter what.
Giving up is a choice, which means you can ALWAYS choose not to.