Sink or swim

If I give up on something, I want to have the feeling that I did everything I could and that giving up is the only choice left for me. I couldn’t just give up, knowing I didn’t do everything I could, for I know I’ll hate myself in the end. I’m a fighter, not a coward. A finisher, not just a starter. Therefore if I start something, I always do it wholeheartedly, knowing I’ll stick to it to the end, no matter what will happen.
I can imagine how you might wonder why I suddenly publish such a personal post, but let’s just say today some things have happened: Someone made a choice and with that choice I saw clearly how I didn’t want to be.

In my about you could’ve read how I’m currently busy setting up a symposium with a commission within my study. The commission consists of seven people, of which I had befriended two of them before we started it. I don’t believe it to be uncommon that things don’t always go smooth when you’ve just started a commission; People don’t know each other yet, their views and opinions are still unknown so sometimes things can seem different than they’re meant to be: Misunderstandings!
We’ve had many misunderstandings in our meetings and because of some tension one of my friends wanted to quit. I couldn’t believe she would actually do this, because so far she’s the most creative and active person in our commission, but she did. Apparently the tension got too much of her and she simply didn’t enjoy it anymore. At least that’s what she said, but I honestly can’t believe it. If she didn’t like setting up the symposium with us, then why did she spent all those efforts in her creativity and had she such a great contribution to the commission so far? Because her words and actions seemed too contradictory to me, I couldn’t believe in her words.
Apparently I was wrong for believing in her strenght to not give up with something she had just started and wholeheartedly put effort in.
Her choice dissappoints me. Though I might not have the right to think this way, because I’m not in her situation and I don’t know what other things might bring stress to her at the moment, I don’t believe it should’ve went this way, no matter what.

Giving up is a choice, which means you can ALWAYS choose not to.


5 thoughts on “Sink or swim

    • Hey abitiouslyy, thank you for your comment!
      It’s puzzling indeed, I still have to figure out the ‘why’s.. I hope that simply asking my friend will clear things up and maybe will fix everything. What kind of situations have you experienced in which occurred a similar puzzling issue?

      • Well, last year my team and I had to struggle with member problems.
        Some girls wanted to be in our team and they knew how important it was to some of us. And even though they practised very hard and did everything to be one of the best they quit it after a while.
        I couldn’t believe it. They were all very talented and I thought they had fun to cheer.

        But they said that they haven’t got any time and don’t enjoy it anymore.
        I didn’t understand it. They practised hard and took part in every training. And suddenly they hadn’t got time?
        I have to admit, it was a difficult time but we managed it.

      • It’s difficult indeed. The president of our committee managed to convince her to stay, but I still don’t know how she actually feels about the situation and if she in her heart wants to stay or not. I still wonder why… I have to admit I haven’t spoken to her for a while, so I don’t really know how to act when I’ll see her at our next committee meeting this Thursday.
        Sometimes I just can’t understand it, just like with your situation. How could it be that they didn’t enjoy it? Did you just imagine it, would I wonder then, but is that really possible? I have no idea, I’m still puzzled!
        I think I’ll just try to talk to my friend at our next meeting, hopefully things’ll be fine again soon :). Thank you for sharing your story! I’m happy I’m not the only one in a similar situation.

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